The Canadian Harm Reduction Network
Letters from Africa
2001-12-22Hi all,
The fact that you are reading this suggests you haven't 'logged off' the database, thanks for hanging in with me.
Men, the 'Church' and Violence;
I think many 'Churches', and supposedly 'religious' folks collude with/exacerbate the beliefs and attitudes suggested in my last email (above)! This may happen unwittingly, or indirectly, but what has been the result of 2+ millennia of messages about 'chastity', 'abstinence', 'faithfulness / monogamy',...? Does repetition of, or fanatic screaming about, these issues seem to have worked? Does shame and 'damnation' seem to have motivated people - human beings, to change their behaviours? Is this approach working, or do we just need to repeat some more, yell louder? I think their is so much dissonance between what people do, and what they are told to do, that many just shut down / go away ( physically, emotionally and/or spiritually). OK, as in my last email what gives me the right to speak of the 'spirit' or 'religion' ? Again if you are ticked off-- stop reading, be your own V-chip!!
We tell people:
- wash your hands regularly (something I'm trying to remember!!)
- limit your exposure to the sun and/or wear sunscreen (ditto)
- driving is risky, so don't speed... wear a seatbelt (no worries here, currently :))
- drinking can lead to problems... don't drink and drive... use in moderation (well....)
- if you must ride a motorcycle/bike... wear a helmet (to be so lucky)
- if you use drugs... be an informed consumer... keep yourself alive, even if its for the next 'fix'
- if you inject drugs... use a clean/new syringe each time... try not to use alone...
- etc, etc...
By contrast/ in the context of; HIV/AIDS, STD's, unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, etc what are many/most churches still preaching about human sexuality? Sexuality isn't just a cognitive issue, which requires us to be filled with 'knowledge' (i.e. the 'plumbing' info- " this is a penis, this is a vagina..."), it is about emotions, power, expectations,....
So, what is abstinence? - Am I impure if I have a sexual thought? Can I masturbate and say I 'abstain'? What if no 'penetration' is involved in my sexual activities? (You may laugh, but let me tell you people live with very divergent definitions/beliefs on this topic). So yes, lets talk about abstinence- in all its complexities!!
If I'm being abused, or if my marriage/initiation is 'arranged' at the age of 10/11, or if I have to sell my body to feed myself.... what have abstinence messages provided me with?
What does it take practically to be faithful/monogamous... when everything/everyone around me suggests or demands otherwise?
Should we not be speaking of sexual safety? Not just 'safer sex', but consensual / mutual / respectful... sex!
Many 'religions', as I humbly understand, have been interpreted/delivered/'owned'.. through or by a predominantly male-dominated group. In many of the 'Christian', (Muslim...) nations I have lived in or visited, hypocrisy/greed/self-interest seem more the norm than an aberration. How is this possible?
I am beginning to see much of which is preached under the guise of religion, as in fact veiled aggression or 'violence'! (violence by proxy?) How do pious men (predominantly) continue to espouse the virtues of: virginity, non-use of condoms, 'stand by your husband', 'honour thy father', ... when their congregations are: dying in droves, women continue to be beaten, children go hungry/are being abused in vast numbers,... (everywhere, not just Zambia!!)?
Do these men envision a day when they sit alone in their cathedrals bemoaning the 'frailty of man', yet take no responsibility for contributing to the violence? Is this all a result of testosterone? Can we deconstuct men to their component hormones and say: "it was ever thus.. it will always be.."? What else is going on here? Where does the rationale/'entitlement' for this violence stem from? What 'spiritual' metamorphosis needs to take place for (in my current situation) the next generation of Zambians to survive/thrive? What does "love thy neighbour" really mean/look like? How about "do unto others...", "there but for the grace of..."
When people are: poor, hungry, lonely, afraid, 'silenced',... what impact does that have on their 'spirit'.? Will food, shelter, meaningful work, care, respect, dignity, 'wealth'... ever be distributed 'fairly'? If not, what should we not be surprised to find in our world? War...terrorism...disgusting wealth - aka ' crimes against humanity', the many faces of violence (ie. racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, heterocentrism...).
Have I finally 'lost' it, and/or you out there? Any reactions? Please, I need to know what other 'humans' are thinking on these issues - otherwise I may as well pack it in and ...I dunno...sell tobacco?
Scott.